Spring Break

That is what this week is. Spring Break. Might I ask who came up with the name of this? And exactly why did they call it a break? I have never been busier than I am when Madison is out of school. Especially this year. Her school decided to have spring break the week before every other school in the area. GREAT. So now I spend most of the day hearing how bored she is. None of the neighborhood kids are home. Most of her friends have school. And her school friends all have plans.

So what has Spring Break meant? It meant going to the museum for the billionth time. And trying to act like I was remotely interested in the same displays I've seen the other 999,999,999 times we went.

It meant an entire day of playing Boogie on the wii. Okay so that wasn't so bad. I am pretty dang good at that game.

Tomorrow I don't know what we will do. Same for Friday. But we will do something. Otherwise it will be miserable.

I can't wait until Spring Break is over so I can relax.

I need to get with it

I am neglecting this poor blog. And it isn't that I don't have a lot to write about. Madison makes sure there is always SOMETHING going on in my life.

But I never think to pop in here. So here I am and viola...I can think of nothing to say.

I need to do something to give myself something to write. But first I would have to be halfway sane right? Maybe not. Maybe you will enjoy my insanity.

So I live with my 9 year old very overdramatic daughter. And my 56 year old very overdramatic mother. Seriously. You would be shocked at how much alike they can be. Don't get me wrong, I love them both. And my mom has been there for me in more ways than I can ever say thank you for.

But at least one day a week while sitting here at the computer happily ignoring life, I will hear the following.

Madison: Stop looking at me like that
Nana: I'm not doing anything
Madison: Yes you are
Nana: No I'm not
Madison: Yes you are
Nana: No I'm not

You get the idea. And this is very real folks. I do not make this stuff up.

SO I've decided that I need to spread my insanity. Let everyone see it. Maybe they will admit me for an evaluation. You know...the 72 hour lockup thing. I mean seriously. Think about it. A room, alone, quiet...the ability to pee by myself without anyone knocking on the door yelling I NEED TO GO BAD!! (as if I can just stop mid pee since someone else needs the bathroom)...i could read a book...or 10......or just lay there on my bed and enjoy the silence. ANd if I get bored.....I just act a lil crazier and they shoot me up with something to make me sleep. This isn't punishment folks. This is HEAVEN

Faith

Where do I find it? I feel like I am being called to do something very important to me. But how do I do that when my own life is in chaos? I need to find that faith that is leading me there to begin with. It's hard to do. I want to get my life in order first, but is that the way it is meant to happen?

I am so envious of those who trust so blindly and completely. I want to be that way. That is what I am shooting for. Blind faith. Is it too much to ask?

I hope that someday I can look back and see how far I have come. I hope I can get up everyday and feel that I am doing what is right in life. I know I will get there. But trust comes so hard for me.

Well lookie there. I have managed 3 whole posts on this thing. I really need to remember it is here and start talking more.

I am thankful

for so many things this year. Here is but a small list:

*My family is healthy for the most part. My grandma's cancer doctor says she is doing so well he doesn't have to see her anymore.

*Today Madison was her usual fun loving self

*I had a warm meal and a warm home today

*I have wonderful friends who bring me joy

*I have a car (this wasn't the case last Thanksgiving LOL)

*I have the best landlords in the world

*I feel I am where I am supposed to be in life right now

It's easy to think sometimes of all the things we wish for. I do that often especially when others speak of what they have. I am often envious and wish I too could have some of these things. And someday I will. But it only takes a small memory back to July/August and then I remember the things in my life that I am grateful for.

A few people have passed thru my life for but a moment. I am grateful for them also. They touched me in ways they may never know. I only hope that I can touch another's life in a positive way.

I never want

to feel the way I feel lately. It has been challenging with madison recovering. She isn't her normal happy go lucky self. I guess that is to be expected. But it's tiring for me. Very tiring.

So I am patiently waiting on the end of 10 days. I think I'd rather give up chocolate and pepsi than to go through this again LOL.

Well everyone else seems to have a blog....so I figured I would give it a shot. Will I keep up with it?? Who knows?

Off I go to bed. it's late and tomorrow is Thanksgiving.