I'm dreaming of...

not a white Christmas that's for sure! We have PLENTY of that. There is approximately 2 ft of snow in my front yard. EEK! We actually had a blizzard warning today and they pulled the plows off the road due to whiteouts. They say its the most snow we've had at Christmas in 50 years but I'm not buying it. Other than the blowing snow and whiteouts it doesn't seem any different than every other year. (insert eye rolling smiley here)

But what am I dreaming of? Well to be honest I want to go home. I want to spend the week I had planned with my family. I want to see my grandma for what could very well be her last Christmas. I want to visit with my cousins. I want my aunt to be way too joyful. I want to see the kids that are growing up too fast. I want our whole family together for the first time in AGES.

I think its not too much to ask. I sure have worked hard for it. I've spent the past week and a half literally going non stop. On the days I slept I slept 2 hours. The rest of the time I just didn't sleep. I have worked myself to death. And yet here I sit 4 days before we are supposed to go and I don't know if we can.

I've cried as much as I can cry. All I can do now is pray. But I've been praying and it hasn't gotten me very far. I need the sales to come in tonight/tomorrow so I can go. I am so tired of never being with family on the holidays.

Sometimes life just sucks.

Aren't I positive tonight?? LOL